Learning to Say “No” So You Can Say God’s “YES!”

Recently the Lord gave me a word for someone but I have felt strongly that there are more in the body of Christ who need to hear it.

The Lord says “I am taking you into a season where your answer should be “no.” You will be in this season until the day you hear in your spirit My resounding “YES!”  In this season of “no’s” I want you to learn the difference between My “yes” and yours – between human compassion and My compassion. You have said too many “yeses” and have taken on burdens you were never meant to carry.  In your human compassion, you have hindered others from receiving what I want to do in their lives. So the Lord says, “You are to say “no” until I release you to say My “yes.” In this season of no’s you I will teach you what My Yes sounds like so that you are moved by only My compassion that brings healing and deliverance to others. 

Human compassion is not bad in and of itself. Compassion enables us to empathize with another’s pain, but human compassion stems from “our flesh.”  We were never meant to be ruled by human compassion, but instead allow it to move us into Godly compassion. Godly compassion is superior to human compassion because God sees the whole picture. We don’t. Human compassion provides relief, but Godly compassion brings redemption. God views life from an eternal perspective. He doesn’t just want to relieve our pain, He wants to redeem our lives. God will often use our trials and pain, taking what the enemy meant for harm and using it to bring us to a place of surrender and dependence on Him. God’s end goal is always to shape us more into the image of Christ and for us to experience the blessing of living out His nature. He doesn’t just want to put a bandaid on our boo-boo. He wants to go deep into our souls, bringing the healing that will cause our entire lives to be transformed.

Godly compassion empowers others to depend on God. We never want to take the place of God in someone’s life. Sometimes our desire to “help” may be rooted in a poor self-image and our own inner need to feel good about ourselves. We may be driven to help people because we want to be liked and accepted. We may like the way it feels to be “the hero” and feel good about ourselves when we rescue others. Human compassion may also be rooted in fear. We may fear allowing others to suffer the consequences or pain and so we step in to rescue them rather than encouraging them to look to God.  Godly compassion sees the big picture. It sees beyond the person’s difficulty and pain, having the revelation that true healing and deliverance come through complete dependence on God. When we move in Godly compassion we point others to Him so that He becomes their deliverer.

I grew up in a ministry that tangibly helped many people and now I serve in one with my husband. We firmly believe that we’re meant to be the hands and feet of Jesus, but we’ve also learned to discern the difference between human and Godly compassion; between helping and enabling. One helps while the other hurts. I can relate to this with my children. I love them so much and I want their lives to be good. If I allow my human love and compassion to move me, I will enable them. I will do everything in my power to prevent them from experiencing difficulty and pain. But I know I can’t do this. Have I been tempted? Of course. But thankfully I have the revelation that if I do, this will do more harm. My “helping” aka “enabling” would cripple them and steal from them the opportunities to see God move in their lives and from developing strong faith in a living God. It would hinder their destiny, the kind of person they would become, the kind of husband and father they would be, and even the kind of disciple they would be. Yes, all that because I allowed my human compassion to keep them from recognizing their need for God, learning to look to Him alone; and becoming empowered to be the strong men of God He created them to be. I’d probably even be setting them up for some greater trial in the future. Why? Because God is jealous for them. He loves them more than even I do, and He will move Heaven and Earth to capture their hearts. Just as He would for each one of His precious children. If we’re always there to solve someone’s problems we become their source. Not God. I never want to be “god” to somebody and I’m sure you don’t either. If we look back at our own lives we’ve probably seen when a difficult situation brought us to the end of ourselves and caused us to cry out to God. Like me, it was probably a turning point where your life changed. Why would we take that life-changing experience from someone else? None of us would knowingly want to, but sometimes we don’t realize we’re doing just that.

So how do we know when and how to move in Godly compassion and not human compassion? I believe if you struggle with this, then the word from the Lord at the beginning of this blog post is for you. Go back and read it and ask the Holy Spirit for the wisdom and grace to walk it out. Many of us need to learn to say no so that we can begin to say God’s yes. I see so many people in burnout. They’re completely stretched to the max, running on empty because they’ve said yes to a lot of “good things” that were not necessarily “God things.”. Are you one of those people? Have you forgotten how to say no? Do you feel guilty saying no? Wouldn’t it be nice to know when to say no and when to say God’s yes?  Sometimes this is a struggle because of codependency. I’ll be writing a separate blog on codependency but did want to mention it now because I believe codependency is the underlying root for many saying yes when they should really be saying no. And in this season of saying “no” the Lord wants to bring healing to us so that our ministry to others comes from a place of wholeness and not codependency. Selah! In the meantime, if you want to learn and grow in this area, I just finished creating a “Breaking Free From Codependency Personal Reflection.” I’ll put the link below and be sure to stay tuned for my blog post on it. 

Another helpful resource I want to share is an amazing message my husband preached on emotional boundaries where he talks about how certain burdens are designed by God to help us grow as we learn to depend on Him, while other burdens are meant to be shared. It’s so important that we learn to discern the difference. Check out the link below for that too. And finally, we started our next online Bible study on the book of James. This is going to be a great one! James is full of wisdom for our lives. I’ll share that link below too! As you can see, this blog is packed full of resources. More than ever I feel the urgency to equip the body. As the world is rapidly growing darker, we’re going to need to be strong in the Lord and armed with His truth to navigate all that’s coming. As we are, I know that not only will we overcome whatever we face; but we’ll be equipped to help others as well. Like me, I know that’s your heart’s desire too. Love and Blessings my friends. Don’t forget to check out all the resources below. 🙂

Breaking Free From Codependency  – $3.99 – CLICK TO BUY NOW