Not Just Healed, But Whole!

This past weekend I shared my testimony at a women’s conference at our church. It’s been a long time since I had shared my full testimony, and as I prepared, I was reminded of God’s goodness and mercy in my life. Since the conference wasn’t recorded, I decided to record my testimony while it was fresh on my heart. If you’ve never heard my full testimony you could watch it here.

True healing is a process. The Bible is clear that we are a triune being with a spirit, soul, and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Our spirits are the part of us that lives on forever with Christ, our bodies are temporary, and our soul consists of our emotions, will, thoughts, and feelings. When we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, our spirits become brand new, but we still need to care for it. We do this as we feed and nourish it with the Word of God and grow in our relationship with God. We also need to tend to our soul which is why the Bible says to “work out the salvation of our souls (Philippians 2:12).” I personally believe that the soul is often the most neglected area. And finally, but equally important, we need to tend to our bodies. Often, a person will focus on one area of their lives, not realizing that each area affects the other. For example, we can take care of our physical body and receive healing, and yet our soul issues can steal life from us whether physically, mentally, or relationally. On the other hand, we can receive healing in our spirit and soul and neglect our body,  experiencing a breakdown in our health. Each part of us is important and needs to be tended to.

I speak often in my blogs about spiritual care, but today, I want to address a little bit about caring for our bodies. Then over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be sharing about the healing we receive in our souls and how it affects every area of our lives. In my own healing process, I learned that I needed to receive healing in each area to become truly whole. It’s important to remember that as long as we’re on this earth, God is always at work in our lives (Philippians 1:6). He may have healed many areas of our lives, but He’s not finished with us yet. As we walk with God, we’re on a journey to wholeness,

My healing and deliverance from an eating disorder came as I immersed myself in God’s word and focused on having a strong relationship with the Living Word, Jesus. He touched the broken areas of my life, transformed me from the inside out, and taught me a whole new way to live. Several years later, I met my husband and we started our life together. We were both on fire for God and serving in ministry. Soon I had my first son and then only 15 months later, my second son was born. It was during this season, as my health began to deteriorate, I realized there were more layers to the healing I needed. I always say our healing process is like an onion; it comes with layers. Layer by layer God deals with us so that we can walk in complete wholeness. We didn’t get to where we were overnight, right?  It took years of experiences, choices, actions, and thought patterns. Not to mention, the healing process is often painful, and thank God He is so gentle with us, exposing areas in our life only as we’re willing to surrender them to Him. For some, it may seem easier to stuff the issues down or ignore them, and so many miss out on the wholeness God has for them. We could always choose to settle right where we’re at, but God doesn’t just want to put a band-aid on us. He desires to go to the root of the issue and do heart surgery on us. When we’re willing to face our pain, our sin, our issues and bare it all before God, He’s able to supernaturally heal our brokenness and transform our lives. After all, God created us and only He can fix what ails us.

So here I was in this season, two baby boys later, along with 5 cracked teeth, half bald, and a fractured pelvic bone. Let’s just say my body was not in the best of shape. I’ve shared before that I was told I’d never have children. After my eating disorder and not having a menstrual cycle for 7 years, I was told I was going into early menopause. But, I knew if God could mend my broken heart, He could surely mend my broken body and that He did! After my boys were born, my OBGYN, explained that when you carry a baby they take the nutrients needed to grow from your body, and well, after starving myself for so many years I didn’t have enough nutrients for TWO back to back babies and myself. I thank God my babies took everything they needed and I was the one left lacking! But now, my body needed some care!

So, I got this idea to do a cleanse. I guess it was the “in” thing to do at the moment and I thought, “Hey, maybe this will help me feel energetic and healthy.” I started this 7-day cleanse I got from the health food store and on day four, I woke up and couldn’t even get out of bed. By the next day, my body literally felt like it was on fire, especially down my arms and legs. I couldn’t walk and yet at the same time, it was agonizing to be still. My husband would literally hold me up and help me as I limped up and down our block with him. It was minimal relief, but I was desperate for anything. I had gone to a doctor and after examining me, he labeled me with fibromyalgia, which I now believe is what they label any unexplained pain in the body. He gave me some muscle relaxers and told me to learn to live with this pain. As if the pain wasn’t bad enough, it got a lot worse. Soon I couldn’t lay down without feeling a sharp, almost electric shock down my spine. I sat up even at night, afraid I’d fall asleep and experience that pain. I was having trouble swallowing food and was getting dangerously thin once again in my life. I tried to push through, but I was getting weaker and weaker and I remember one day leaning on my mother and whispering, “Will you take care of my boys when I’m gone?” She shook me and said, “NO! You are going to make it.”

I was losing hope, but something happened one day that gave me the will to fight. I was sitting on my front lanai where I sat every day praying, and asking God to give me a sign that I wasn’t going to die. I was never one to ask for signs, but I was desperate. I had this Jasmine bush growing there and it had the prettiest white, fragrant flowers on it. For the several years I had lived there, I loved it. That day, my pain was my focus, but I turned my head and looked at the tree, and there on the tree was growing a large fruit. I was in shock. I had lived here years and that tree never grew a fruit. I didn’t even know Jasmine trees could grow fruit. It was a beautiful peach-colored fruit and I said, “What in the world is this??” And suddenly I heard the Lord say, “Jill, I put that fruit there to show you that you are not going to die, and your life will bear fruit once again.” Tears poured down my cheeks, as a tiny mustard seed of faith was awakened within me. After that, my problems didn’t disappear, but that fruit brought hope to my heart. I lived in that house for several years after that, and that was the one and only fruit that EVER grew on that tree. It was a miracle. At this time, I also began to put feet to my faith and research natural ways of how to get my body back to health.

From my research, I learned that I was in fact very toxic and that detox drew the toxins from my organs, but was unable to release them. So basically, I was living with a poisoned body. Not only had I starved myself many years of my life, but when I did eat, it was food with no nutritional value, often filled with artificial sweeteners like aspartame. I drank lots of diet soda, coffee, and absolutely no water for years. I can’t even imagine eating like that anymore. More research led me to begin a raw food diet consisting of only living uncooked foods; fruits vegetables and seeds and nuts so that I could get those toxins out and also begin to nourish my body with living nutrient-filled foods. God created our bodies to heal themselves and my body began to heal. Within 3 months, that feeling like I was being electrocuted down my spine stopped PRAISE GOD!! That burning pain became at least tolerable. By 6 months it lessened some more and by a year it was completely gone, EXCEPT it would come back if got stressed or upset about something. Literally, within minutes of getting upset about something I would feel that pain burning down my arms and legs. God used this to show me once again, yet another LAYER to my healing process: my soul. But, I’ll share more about that next week.

I know my experience is unique, however, I have ministered to a few other ladies since that time, that went through exactly what I did. They were given the same fibromyalgia diagnosis, had the same symptoms, and experienced the same healing process through a raw food diet. But whether you can relate to my story or not, I do believe that there are so many people missing out on the complete wholeness that God wants for their lives. Some experience physical ailments like I did. For others, it can be seen in strings of broken relationships. For others, it manifests in extreme fear and anxiety, or bouts of depression that don’t seem to lift, or even self-destructive behaviors. These “symptoms” show our need for healing and again, God wants to heal the whole person.

Today, I’m focusing on the body. I’m NOT telling anyone to go on the raw food diet. I did that for a year because at the time, I needed it. It’s extreme, but very beneficial for times of cleansing and healing the body. These days, I strive to live a balanced life. My goal is to care for my body lovingly. The Bible says that “our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).” God wants us to care for our bodies so we have the energy to joyfully live the life He created us to. What we put into our bodies does affect us. We know a lot of sugar can cause depression and a lack of energy. A lack of water can also make us feel tired and experience joint pain. Too much caffeine actually depletes our body of the vitamins and minerals it needs. Balance is key in all things. I still love coffee, but instead of 4 cups a day, I only have 1. The key is to begin to see the importance of caring for our bodies. Getting adequate sleep is important too. When I don’t get enough sleep I’m cranky and my family is affected. You know how it goes, “When mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” But seriously, the truth is, our relationships are also affected when we don’t care for our bodies. Exercise is important too. We don’t have to run a marathon, but taking a walk with our spouse or a friend is just as good for our bodies. Remember, balance is key. In my blog on self-care which you can read here, I talk about the importance of taking the time to care for ourselves. Sometimes busyness keeps us from eating right, sleeping well, and exercising. You’re too important to neglect. I believe if you asked most people today, they’d say they wished they felt better, happier, and had more energy and overall health. God wants this for us even more than we do, and He is the One who helps us to find complete wholeness; spirit soul, and body.