The Right Choice

Can I be honest with you? A little over 6 months ago, I had the choice to be offended. Yes, I said that right… “the choice.” Being offended is a choice. My husband and I have spoken about offense many times because it’s a big issue in relationships. And have you noticed that people get offended so easily these days? Well, it’s not a coincidence.  The Bible actually says that in the last days, many will be offended (Matthew 24:10).” Offense is a tactic of the enemy to divide and separate us from one another, and more than ever, we need to stay united. Where there is unity, God can move powerfully in our midst and we so desperately need a move of God.

So, back to my story…  I consider myself someone with pretty thick skin. Having walked with the Lord for many years, I don’t really get offended. I have seen so much, so when satan comes at me with things like that, I’m like “NO WAY! NOT TODAY SATAN!!” So, what happened then? Well, someone I never expected, who had entrance to my heart, was really ugly to me. I mean really ugly. When they lashed out, I was so taken off guard. I was like, “Is this really happening?” I knew the person was going through something and I was actually trying to encourage them, but instead, I became their target. Has something like this ever happened to you? You know, it’s easy to shrug off things said or done by people that have no entrance to our heart, but when it’s from someone close, someone we would never expect it from, it pierces our very core. Well… the enemy knows what he’s doing.

In Luke 4:13, we’re given insight into how satan works, and knowing this helps us fight back. In this passage, the devil had just finished tempting Jesus and failed. It says,

“When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.”

See those last 2 words? OPPORTUNE TIME. This is exactly what satan does. He looks for just the right opportunity to cause us to stumble. Listen up – the devil does NOT play nice or fair. With any temptation, he looks to hit us where it hurts! After all, temptation wouldn’t be temptation unless it tempted us, right? He looks for the areas he knows will affect us. This is important to realize with whatever temptation we face, so we can see him coming and choose not to go in the direction he wants to pull us in. In regards to offense, we never expect it, do we? BUT….we must be quick to make that choice to NOT be offended.

After that experience, I immediately went into combat mode…PRAYER! I knew my heart had been pierced. Hurt and anger began to well up and I knew I had a choice of what would happen next. I said, “God, I don’t want to be offended by this, help me.” And I began to walk through the steps of forgiveness in my heart. Immediately I confessed I forgave this person. I asked the Lord to pull out those fiery darts that pierced my heart and to heal me. Then, I prayed for the person who hurt me. These steps will help us to say no to offense and walk in forgiveness. Sometimes we may need to repeat them several times until our soul lines up with our spirit. We may feel hurt, we may feel angry, and offense may feel like the direction we’re being pulled in, but we DO NOT have to go there.  We can choose to not be offended. We can choose to forgive. We can choose to keep walking in freedom and victory.

On a side note, I did have a healthy conversation a few weeks later with the person, sharing how their actions had hurt me, and more healing came. BUT, I want you to know that forgiveness began weeks before that conversation. It began immediately after the incident happened. This is because forgiveness isn’t based on the other person. It’s not something we give or withhold until we feel the person deserves it. Forgiveness is not for the other person. It’s for you. It’s between you and God.

I believe 100% what the Bible says in Matthew 18:15 about going to your brother or sister if they have done something against you, but I have seen too many people go in anger or at the wrong time and it leads to more hurt feelings and division in the relationship. They use this verse as an excuse to blast the person. Confrontation is not for the purpose of telling the person off. God means it for reconciliation. Confrontation is not effective when emotions are flying high on either end. If we go to God right away and deal with our own emotions, making sure we’re not offended, and praying for our brother and sister, then we can speak to them when God releases us to, in a healthy way that is restorative to the relationship. Sometimes it may be immediately, and sometimes God may say wait a bit because either you or the other person is not ready. Either way, do it when the Lord says, so God can bring complete healing.

Choosing offense will only lead to pain in our lives and division in our relationships, but when we choose to not be offended, there is hope for unity and restoration and God can do things in our relationships that we couldn’t do on our own. He is faithful! I pray sharing my own challenge with you and being transparent, reminds you that it’s possible to be free of offense. There will be times in our lives where we’ll have to make the choice to be offended or not. I’m so thankful that God has given us the ability to say no to offense, to forgive, and to fight for unity in our relationships. Below is a short video my hubby and I did a while back on being unoffendable. I thought it was fitting to link it with this post Let’s all make the choice today to be those people who are UNOFFENDABLE! The enemy may try, but just like he tried to tempt Jesus, he will fail!