Hope

Raising our two boys is a huge focus in my life. I can remember playing with baby dolls when I was a little girl and pretending it was my very own real life baby. Being a mom was my greatest heart’s desire early on. Some girls dreamed of being a princess or maybe even an astronaut, but my dream was becoming a mother.

After coming through years of struggling with an eating disorder that damaged my body, it was like a death blow to hear I may never have children. They said my body was in early menopause due to the lack of hormones from so many years of malnourishment and low weight. Thankfully, when this news came, I had already seen God do the miraculous in my life, just by delivering me from an eating disorder and what the world says is an incurable sickness. This gave me the hope to believe that God could heal my body too and give me my greatest heart’s desire.

When we we go through things in life and are left with the residue of pain, guilt and maybe even the consequences of some unwise decisions, it can be hard to muster up hope to believe that things will ever get better. We may wonder, “Is it too late for me? Did I ruin my chances of happiness? Can things really turn around? One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 25:3 which says, “No one who hopes in You, will ever be put to shame…” Wow. Isn’t that an amazing promise?

This verse always reminds me that it’s not hope alone, but Who my hope is in that makes the difference. We serve a God that is perfect and true. He promises that when we place our hope in Him, we will not be disappointed (Romans 5:5). We may have been disappointed by people and life in general, but God will never disappoint us. We can trust Him because He never lies and He always keeps His promises (Numbers 23:19, 2 Corinthians 1:20). This is what we can remind ourselves of when hope threatens to fade.

So, I took my boys to the Naples Botanical Gardens for a class trip last week. A little end of the year reprieve after completing Chemistry and Geometry. I really needed it! Joking! We all did! Homeschooling can be challenging and exhausting sometimes, but I am thankful for these precious moments with my two gifts from God.

Time seems to be flying by as I watch them growing into young men. It feels like just yesterday they were toddlers and I was chasing them around trying to keep up. I find myself still trying to keep up as they excel and grow, and every moment truly is a gift. I may teach them math and english and their other academics, but I pray the greatest lesson they learn from me is that they can hope in God at all times.