“Lord, please speak to me…” How many times has this been your prayer when you need answers from God? I pray this often.
But what happens when we get an answer from God and it’s not what we wanted to hear? Uh-Oh. Do we pretend we didn’t hear? Do we suddenly have selective hearing, only acknowledging what we agree with? Like a rebellious child, do we dig our heels in the ground and refuse to budge? In all honesty, I’ve often wrestled with God when He has told me things I didn’t want to hear. How about you?
The thing is, God often speaks things that cut across our flesh. He speaks things to us that scare us because they threaten to push us from the safety of our comfort zones. Human nature drives us to hold onto control… and yet this clashes with the truth that our walk with God is completely out of our control. Thankfully… God is always in control. He is never taken by surprise. He knows the end from the beginning. And the best part is… He is always good and promises His plans for us are perfect.
I remember a while back having a HUGE disagreement with my husband. Rob and I are the first ones to admit that our strong, independent personalities collide at times. Early in our marriage it almost destroyed us as we tirelessly fought for our own way. As we have grown and submitted to the Lord, we have learned to allow these conflicts to make us stronger and more like Christ.
NEWS FLASH: Our marriages are not all about getting our way, having our needs met, or even feeding our prideful desire to always “be right!” It’s all about humbling ourselves and becoming more like Christ so that together, our marriage reflects who God is.
So Rob and I had this huge disagreement and we struggled to come to a resolution on our own. We both felt we were right and the other was wrong. I was weary and discouraged and did what I often do. I got in my car and drove to a quiet place and prayed. As the tears of frustration slipped down my cheeks, I said, “God I need you to speak to me. What should I do?” Most often when the Lord speaks to me, He will lead me to a verse in the bible. And so as I cried out to the Lord in my car, the Holy Spirit directed me to the Bible in my lap. When the pages fell open to 1 Peter, I knew God wanted me to stop there and as I looked down at the verse before me, my heart sunk and I literally said out loud, “REALLY GOD????!!!!!”
As I read 1 Peter 5:22-23 my frustration grew:
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
I wanted to keep reading on to the next verses about the husband’s responsibility, so I could justify my actions, but the Holy Spirit stopped me. God was clearly speaking to ME about ME. All these emotions assailed me…anger, sadness, discouragement…THIS was NOT what I wanted to hear!!!! After all, I was right in this disagreement with my husband and he was wrong. I believed my husband should respect what I was saying, knowing I heard from God! So why would God tell me this? For a moment, I felt my heart hardening; my heels digging in like that rebellious child I described above. Then the Holy Spirit, spoke again, “Are you a Christian?” ‘What???!! What does that even mean?’ I thought. But as soon as I asked it, I knew.
I know people throw the word “Christian” around loosely, but the true meaning of “Christian” is to be a follower of Christ. It means that when we accept Christ into our hearts, He doesn’t just become our Savior, He becomes our Lord. The two can’t be separated no matter how hard we may try. As a Christian, we commit to giving up our way of life to follow His way, because He’s God, not us. Conviction spread through me. “I AM a Christian God, “ I said out loud. I have always felt strongly against hypocrisy. I want my actions to line up with God’s – even in the little things, and even in secret. Because while others may not see, the most important person always sees – And I want to please God.” I prayed this out before the Lord and while these were my words … I had to battle with my flesh for a long while in that car before I went home. God was telling me to do something, and I had a choice to make. Was He really my Lord or not? I had a better understanding that day of how Jesus could sweat blood in the Garden of Gethsemane when He prayed “Not my will, but Thy will, Lord.” I may not have been going to physical death but the death of my pride was slow and painful. Can anyone out there relate?
What will we do when God tells us to forgive someone that has deeply hurt us? Or when He asks us to give when we feel we have barely enough for ourselves? Or to love when that love has been rejected again and again? What will we do when He tells us to do things that don’t make sense to our natural minds? Will we pretend we didn’t hear and do what we think is better? Will we reason away our faith and make excuses for why we can’t obey? This choice to obey begins in our hearts.
When I went home that day, my husband and I still had to discuss things, but I took it down 10 notches in my responses if you know what I mean 🙂 and I truly listened to what my husband was sharing with me. I still didn’t agree with everything he was saying, but I reminded myself it’s not my job to make him think or say what I think is right. That’s between him and God, just like my responses are between me and God; And God clearly told me how to respond. My husband and I didn’t come to a complete resolution that night or even the next, but as we committed to work it out we had a breakthrough the following day, and you know what? The final resolution wasn’t what I wanted, nor even what my husband wanted…. It was actually somewhere in the middle. And the Lord showed me that day, it was never about who was right or wrong. It was about how we chose to respond to one another as we worked it out. And ultimately, it was about finding out what God wanted. We each held part of the puzzle, and this the very reason God puts us together with our spouse… to unite in our uniqueness and reflect who HE IS. No matter where we are in life, married or single, our purpose is to reflect Him.
Friend, have you been crying out to God for answers? Do you desperately need His direction in your life? I want to encourage you to prepare yourself for that answer. Are you willing to hear what He has to say? Maybe you’ve already heard it and like me, you’re shouting, “REALLY GOD!!!!” I pray today you are reminded of God’s goodness and His perfect plans for your life. I pray that even though you may not understand why God is leading you in the direction He is, you will make the choice in your heart to obey, and take those first steps of faith to carry out His instruction. I know that you will be just as amazed as I was at what happens next.
It seems God has been doing this more than ever in my life. He’s speaking things to me that are challenging me in ways I’ve never been challenged before. I can’t say it’s always easy to follow – I have many wrestling moments with my flesh… but as I follow God, the outcome is better than I could have ever imagined. I believe the Lord is doing this in all our lives because He wants to perform signs and wonders in this season. He wants to change things that we have begun to give up hope on. Don’t lose hope, Friend. God wants to do the miraculous in your life. Let’s commit to giving up control and stepping out of our comfort zones. Let’s choose to respond like Peter when Jesus called him out onto the water. It was scary and unknown but Peter obeyed. The wind and the waves of life will always be there, but as we keep our eyes focused on Jesus, our Prince of Peace, He will always keep us steady and strong.
