This post is something I actually began writing on my birthday in July and then put to the side til now. Most of us don’t like getting older, but with each passing year, I’m thankful for the wisdom I’ve gained. How would my 20 something year old life be different if I knew then what I know now? If only! None of these things are extremely profound, but they are lessons I’ve learned and things I’ve adopted in my life that have dramatically changed the way I live each day. Since I’m getting up there in years 🙂 and 46 life lessons would be a lot to read in one sitting, I’ll just share half for now.
1.Don’t sweat the small stuff. I know this may sound cliché, but it’s a powerful truth I had to learn to live by! How often do we stress over the little things in life and allow them to steal our joy and peace? I used to ALL the time! One phone call could ruin my day. One bad thought could throw me off. One day, many years ago I was talking to someone and she said, “Don’t sweat the small stuff” and it was like a light bulb went off. She was right. I didn’t want to live like that anymore, so I made a choice. If I had the ability to do something about whatever was bothering me I would, but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t allow myself to worry or stress about what I had no control over. I would put it in God’s hands and move on with my day. This is a much more peaceful way to live and peace is priceless!
2. Don’t Judge Others. You never know what people have been through. We can never know another’s pain, the shame they carry, or even their hearts. We never know what is going on inside a person and what is keeping them bound. God calls us to show mercy to others; To never judge, because we all fall short. I think I have learned this lesson early in my life having grown up in a ministry that helps people in their brokenness. The things I have seen and heard are heartbreaking. And yet, as painful and horrible as things can be, I have seen true hope as God has restored the most brokenness of lives to wholeness. God is able. In my own life, and pain and failures I’d never want anyone to judge me either, and so the Bible says, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” It says show mercy in order to receive mercy.” These are truths we should all walk in. The world doesn’t need more judgement, it needs the love, mercy and grace of God.
3. Think before you speak. And then think some more. I used to speak off the cuff…and then regret it later on. My mouth used to get me in trouble more times than I care to admit. Thankfully, I’ve learned to think before I speak. I got to the place where I wanted to please God and that meant putting a watch upon my mouth. I also realized, my mouth was getting me into trouble and stealing peace from my life and well, like I said before, it wasn’t worth it! And finally, I realized that God called me to be His mouthpiece and I couldn’t say what I wanted one minute and say what God wanted the next. It didn’t work that way. God had to be able to trust me, in order to use me to speak His Words. So, I went through a season of silence…. I didn’t really say much about anything for a long time. I kept MY opinion to myself. I allowed God to work on my heart, so that when I spoke, I shared His heart. This was life changing for me. Do I ever fall short? OF COURSE, but it’s something I take seriously and strive to please God in.
4. Forgive quickly. They say unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Unforgiveness only hurts you. It destroys relationships, it opens the door to the tormentor, it can make you sick, it steals your peace, it’s a sin, it blocks your prayers from being answered…. shall I go on?? Unforgiveness is not worth it! We must choose to forgive quickly before it sets in and becomes a root of bitterness and much harder to deal with. I’m so thankful I learned how to forgive quickly.
5. Forgiveness is not a feeling. When I learned this, I had a much easier time forgiving quickly. We forgive because we know it’s right in God’s eyes and we want to please Him. Does that mean we feel it? Not always. I’ve learned to apply these steps to forgive when I struggle.
- I first ask God to forgive me for my unforgiveness and ask Him to help me walk in His forgiveness.
- I pray and confess with my mouth, “I forgive (fill in the blank).
- I pray a blessing over that person… I just say, “Lord, bless (fill in the blank).” I feel this is important, because unforgiveness does NOT want to bless. It wants to hold a grudge and it want the other person to pay for what they did. The act of praying for the person that hurt me to be blessed is very powerful. I feel it shows the enemy that I am serious about forgiving and it releases the grip he has on me when I do.
- Repeat the 2nd and 3rd step as often as necessary. Confession is a powerful thing. When we confess forgiveness, and take the steps by faith to do so, eventually our feelings will line up.
6. Every day is a good day to have a good day. I want to have a good day every day and I bet you do too! In the past, I lost so many days to anger, sadness and pain. I can never get those days back. I know life has problems – believe me I do; but I’ve learned that I can make the most of every day God has gifted me with, and I fight hard to do so. I might get upset, or not feel well some days, but I try my best with God’s help never to stay in the pit. I pray and cast my cares upon the Lord. Then I leave them there and choose to enjoy the life God has given me as best I can each and every day. Life is too short not to!
7. Have a vision. I have been writing a vision for my life since I was a teenager. I wrote my dreams and desires and goals out and kept them before me just like the Bible says, so that I knew what I wanted in life and was working towards. God has been faithful to bring to pass every vision I’ve ever written down and then some. When I got married, my husband and I did this together and still do yearly. We write a 1-year, 2-year and 5-year vision and update as needed. We keep our vision before us as the Bible says to and pray over it and work towards it together. It helps us remain focused, remember why we do what we do, and have goals to work towards. I encourage everyone to start this life changing practice.
8. Pray, pray and pray some more. There are soooo many things in life that are out of our control…BUT God is ALWAYS in control. Philippians 4:6-7, tells us that prayer will actually alleviate our anxieties. That’s awesome. And not just that, we are then in the position to receive the supernatural peace of God in our lives. I need that! Prayer is such a big part of my life. I couldn’t live without it and pray all throughout the day.
9. REST is vital! When I was younger I didn’t think much about resting, but as I’ve gotten older, I realize how important it is and how it affects everything in my life. If I’m exhausted I may feel cranky and them my family and those close to me suffer. They deserve my best. Sometimes if I am exhausted, I get down, because the enemy sees an opportunity to attack me while I’m weak. I don’t want to give him this opportunity. When I am exhausted, I just don’t feel well, and it’s not how I want to live or God wants me to live. SO… I make sure I get the rest I need. Sometimes life gets busier than usual and I don’t get as much rest as I like, but I need to make sure that after that, I take time to rest and recuperate. I used to feel guilty just resting. I used to feel like I had to answer every demand that was placed on me. But I don’t anymore. My job is to do the best I can unto the Lord and take care of myself too, so that I can be the best I can be in every situation.
10. Be You. I think women, more than men, are taught to compare themselves. We see so many images of what women should be in the media, and we are bombarded daily with messages that who we are isn’t enough. It’s so important for us as women to know who we are in Christ. I remember as a young girl, comparing myself to the girls in magazines. For me, it led me down the road of a deadly eating disorder. Looking back after God set me free, I realized how much of my life I wasted comparing and disliking myself and it really saddened me. I made it my mission to allow God to heal me on the inside so that I could be who He created me to be. Each of us needs to allow the Lord to do this work in us. The truth is, there are no two people alike. We are all unique in our own special way and because of this there really can be no comparison. God wants us free to be who He created us to be because only we can reflect Him in the way He created us to. Today, I am free to be ME and I pray you would be free to be YOU!
11. Find joy in the little things! When you find joy in the little things, your life is filled with ABUNDANT joy. Who doesn’t want that? Some people are waiting for all their problems to disappear before they could finally be happy. Life will always have things we have to deal with, so it’s important to find joy right where we’re at. Others think they need to go on vacation or spend a lot money to find joy or have fun, but that’s a trap too. We can find joy in every day. I think I adopted this when I made the decision to make every day a good day. I started to seek out the little things in life that brought me joy, made me smile, and caused me to laugh. It’s something I do every day. You all know I love to pet my cows! It brings me joy! So does dancing with my kids, taking a walk with my hubby, watching the sunset and so many other things. All these things bring me joy and help me to enjoy my life every day.
12. Be kind to yourself. We often hear about being kind to others, but I believe we often need to work on being kind to ourselves. We can be our own worst critics at times and this should not be. It’s so important to allow ourselves to make mistakes, forgive ourselves, and lean into God’s grace and mercy every day. Some of us would never treat others the way we treat ourselves, and we need to work on this. When I learned to show myself grace, my whole life changed. As long as I was condemning myself, I was stuck in the issues and pain. When I forgave myself, and showed kindness to myself, it enabled me to receive God’s grace and get “unstuck,” allowing Him to help me to change what I needed to.
13. Be real. The world is not looking for perfect people. They are looking for real people. I have shared before that the people God used in my life the most were not perfect. They were real people, with real problems but also real faith in God, and that was a testament to me. I saw something in them that I wanted. I wanted to know how to be strong, how to have joy, how to have faith…. Their lives pointed me to Jesus. It’s so important to be real with people, because it shows others that life is not perfect, people are not perfect, but there is one Perfect One named Jesus who has the answer to our every need.
14. Work hard, but work even smarter. I can exhaust myself doing a lot of things. Really. I throw myself into everything I do 100% so it is easy for me to get worn out. Thankfully, I woke up to the fact that working hard at a lot of things doesn’t really mean I’m accomplishing a lot or doing it all with excellence. I learned that I can’t do it all. I have to know which things God has called me to invest my time and energy in, and say no to the other things that will cause me to wear myself out and ultimately do nothing with the excellence I desire. When I work smart, I work hard at what God has called me to, and I’m a lot more productive in my life.
15. Leave it better than you found it. This is something that my mom instilled in me. When I was younger we would go on a yearly vacation and would rent a home to stay in each year in upstate NY. Before we left, we would spend the day cleaning the house. As the typical teenager I was, I would complain and say, “It wasn’t even this clean when we got here!” And my mom would always say, “Well, you should always leave a place better than when you found it.” As much as I didn’t like it as a teenager, it stuck with me. I believe this is true for wherever we go and whatever we do. After all, if we carry Christ in us, why wouldn’t we? My husband calls it an invisible signature. I like that. Our goal should be to leave the signature of Christ wherever we go and on whatever we do. We should leave a place, even if we are there briefly, better than it was before. And I don’t just mean physically, but spiritually as well. We can impart peace, joy, health… all God is… wherever we go, because we carry Him with us. How would life change if we all had the attitude, “I’m going to leave this place even better than before I got here.” I think that would be pretty cool.
16. Be a good steward. Everything we have, is a gift from God. Sometimes we can take our blessings for granted. It’s important to remember these things are gifts that God has entrusted us to care for. I always tell my children to be good stewards because if God can trust them with what they have now, He can trust them with more later. God loves to bless us, but He is a wise investor. He wants to see us steward what He places in our hands, so He can trust us with more. Being a good steward doesn’t just apply to things, but relationships, gifts, time, our finances etc… I want to be someone God can trust always with what He places in my life.
17. Don’t be too big to do little things. I never get people who feel this way. I think it’s because I saw my parents roll their sleeves up and work hard no matter where they were. They never asked anyone to do anything they were unwilling to do themselves and they always went above and beyond in all they did. Because of this, I’m not afraid to work hard either and I don’t ever consider anything a menial task. I love to do and see things done with excellence no matter what the job is. The person that cleans up behind the scenes, is no less important than the person that may be seen in the forefront. Being too big to do little things is pride and there is no place for pride in the Kingdom. We are all servants.
18. Be a God pleaser. I believe when we’re God pleasers, we’ll do everything we do with excellence, because we’re doing it unto the Lord and not for man’s approval. We also know that what we do can either represent God in a good way or a negative way. I believe being a God pleaser also means that people will be displeased with us sometimes and we have to be ok with that. This is something I had to learn. I wanted to please people, but if I’m a God pleaser that won’t always be the case. I learned that my priority is to always live for God and do my best for HIM alone. As long as I live like that, I’m in the right place.
19. Set and LIVE on a budget. Today it’s common for people to just spend without thought. Debt is rampant. Debt steals our peace, can hurt our marriage, affect our quality of life… DEBT IS A TRAP! It seems like every store I go to these days, they’re trying to push their credit card on me and I say NO, NO, NO! Yesterday, this cashier was being so forceful and about me signing up for the store credit card. I finally said, “I’ve been in debt before, and I don’t want to ever be again, so no thank you!” She then started to share with me regretfully how much debt she was currently in, but still asked me if I wanted to sign up for the credit card before I left. NO, NO, NO! Creating a budget is key to not overspending and even saving. We have to not only make a budget, but commit to stick to it.
20. Don’t accept the impossible. The world will tell you a lot of things are impossible, but the Bible says with God, ALL things are possible. I was told I’d never have children, but today, I have two handsome teen boys. My body has been on the brink of death more than once, but today I am alive. Relationships others may have said would be broken forever, have been miraculously restored. I can go on and on. I have learned not to accept the impossible no matter what it looks or feels like and hope above all else in the God who says nothing is impossible to them who believe.
21. Gratitude is life changing. Seriously. Gratitude keeps our focus on what we have rather than what we don’t have. We can all wallow in what we lack, and it will lead us all down the same road of discontentment and despair. Choosing to be grateful has changed my whole perspective on life, helps me to enjoy what I do have and never take things for granted. Gratitude has changed my life.
22. Remember God is Good. This powerful truth dramatically changed my life. I used to have so much fear. Fear of the future. Fear of the unknown. Fear of Failure. The list can go on. Fear is a lack of trust in God. Like I stated before, there is so much in life that is completely out of our control. If we allow it to, fear can overtake us. Knowing and believing in our hearts that God is good will change the way a person lives. It did for me. Truly understanding God’s goodness has only come from my personal relationship with Him; seeking after Him and allowing Him to reveal Himself to me in ways only He can. Remembering God is good may not answer every question I have, but it brings my heart peace because I know that because God is good, He will work things out always. I may not know how, understand everything, or even like everything, but because I know He is good, I know it’s going to be ok. I can trust Him.
23. Guard Your Heart & Mind Before I understood this, whatever thought came into my mind was permitted to stay there. I didn’t realize that what I was thinking about affected me in such a powerful way. Sometimes I would feel discouraged, fearful or even angry and I didn’t even know why. When I realized that my thought life was the source of these negative feelings I became a watchdog over my thought life. Now, if it doesn’t line up with God’s Word, its got to go! I will not allow myself to dwell on negative things. I don’t just allow thoughts to enter my mind and reside there. I kick them out and replace them with what God says about my life. A big part of this is also guarding my heart. I am very careful what I watch or listen to. Whether it is media or even other people that may be speaking negatively, I will not allow it. This has transformed the way I live. My feelings, thoughts, and emotions are influenced by God’s Word and not whatever thought enters my mind.
