Delivered to be a Deliverer

Upon hearing the news of recent suicides, my heart has felt broken over the great inner turmoil a person must feel in order to take their own life. A pain that seems so unbearable, so unfixable that the thought of not living seems like the only solution. I was once very familiar with this type of pain, and yet, I know there is a pain of even greater magnitude than I’ve experienced.

Many years ago, I struggled with an eating disorder, desperate for a way to cope with the pain within. The misconception most people have is that a person in this type of bondage starves themselves just because they want to be thin, however, the reality is they’re actually trying to disappear. That’s exactly what I desired. Because I felt like I could never measure up to this imaginary standard, because I felt as though I was a disappointment to everyone including God, because I had lost hope, life didn’t seem worth living.

Towards the end of my time in this mental prison, I remember being so near death that my secret desire was actually close to becoming a reality. After a seizure that I thought was going to be the end of me, I cried out to God for the first time. You see, in the face of death, satan rips off the mask and laughs. What one thinks is bringing relief is actually a lie and often it’s too late. I thank God I was able to cry out and my cry was answered by the Creator who made me, who loved me, and who had the answer to every pain I faced. A relationship with Him, turned my life around. He made me whole.

We may look at people and never truly know the pain they face. Yet, each of us, without a personal relationship with the One True Living God through Jesus Christ, has a hole in our souls that brings brokenness to our lives. God, the Creator made us, and only He can fix the brokenness we experience in this fallen world. We need Him daily to touch and transform our lives. Without God, we’re at the whim of an evil enemy who twists and perverts truth, speaking and causing us to believe lies with the purpose of completely destroying us. Only God could fill the gaping hole within and make us truly WHOLE in Him.

Today, some may look at my picture above and see a woman who looks happy and filled with joy and she is. Some days it’s hard to even remember this wasn’t always the case because I have experienced so much of God’s healing and transforming love in my life. And yet, when I hear of the heartbreak in recent news, I’m reminded again that I’ve been delivered to be a deliverer, and so have you. A deliverer of God’s truth. A deliverer of God’s love. Colossians 1:13 tells us that God rescued us from the power of darkness and brought us into the Kingdom of the Son He loves. What has God delivered you from? Just by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior, your life has been made new and your destiny is sealed to spend eternity with Him.  My prayer is that each of us be compelled in a greater way by Christ’s love to speak truth and to reassure others that there is hope and it’s found in Jesus; the only Way, Truth and Life.

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4 thoughts on “Delivered to be a Deliverer

  1. Thank you for this wonderful, truthful post and for your transparency. Having experienced this kind of hopelessness firsthand, I would like to share something; when a person is in that dark of a place and feels so worthless, they perceive that the world would be a better place without them. And when people who call themselves “Christians” judge them, it only confirms that lie in the depressed persons mind. If Chrisitans are supposed to be God’s representative on earth, and we don’t DEMONSTRATE God’s unconditional love, then that just adds to the lie the devil is telling them. Kind words are not enough; we have to love in action. Whenever I read stories in the bible where Jesus demonstrated an act of love when there was an unloveable person, it moves me so deeply because we din’t often see that in this world. It’s easy to love the loveable. As Christians we have to walk in love rather than judgement, because some will look at the depressed person and think they must be in that state because they Godless and avoid them, when that is the very moment they need us.

  2. Good Morning Jill, Thank you for this,

    Just wanted to share a few thoughts with you,

    Statistics have proven over the long term that Suicide, Crime, Spousal abuse, Delinquency, Drug addiction, Alcoholism and many other ill’s stem directly or indirectly from unemployment !!

    Overall, the United States economy has experienced a loss of 7.5 million jobs!!! With, of course, no end in sight !!!

    how does this affect the every day person ? Let’s look,

    The average American who is unemployed will spend about 33 weeks if not longer searching for a job,

    That’s 231 days (or more) out of 365 days in the year searching for employment! Sounds Incredible , I know !!!!

    The Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) is one of the most-watched indicators of the United States economy,

    All headed by one statistic: the unemployment rate, approximately ,15 million people in the United States are officially unemployed!!

    That figure is positively mind blowing !!!! What is really going on !! Let’s take a look at that too,

    U.S Economic policy has failed to connect unemployed Americans to all the work needed to maintain city’s, suburbs , you name it !!

    America, from coast to coast,is filled with —

    dilapidated bridges, sub standard housing complexes, roads, water mains, pipelines, & airports, that all need immediate attention and rebuilding!!!

    Amazingly, in spite of all this ,many companies continue to make record profits & since most companies with record profits refuse to create jobs,

    the impact of unemployment has had even farther reaching consequences —

    for those who have lost their jobs, hopes for a timely recovery will, most certainly be out of reach !!

    Looking for better pay or a job that more precisely matches one’s skills, is becoming more & more “unrealistic”!! this of course means more & more people wander through life with no real purpose !! Yes , society does contribute quite alot to The suicide rate !!! God Bless !!

    1. Very sad for sure. America loving and keeping God first as was the case originally is the answer!

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